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22-Jul-2018 17:31

She’s smart and generally capable, but she’s been fired or let go a few times, and some of the stories she has told me about her work made me wonder about her performance.

I don’t want to refer a bad candidate to work with a bunch of people I know.

In theory that shouldn’t happen because you’ll have been clear with them about the limits of your knowledge about her, but in reality people are going to associate you with the situation anyway.

At a minimum, you don’t really know if you can vouch for Jane or not, and that means that you can’t recommend her.

But if that weren’t the case, then I’d tell you that this is relevant too: “I don’t want my friendships with my former coworkers to involve her at all — I don’t want to see her when I hang out with them, I don’t want to hear stories about her, I don’t want them to know anything about our relationship besides what I choose to tell them.” In general, you’re not obligated to connect an ex to a job if you don’t want the things that will result from that.

It might reflect badly on me, and I want my former co-workers (especially the managers doing the hiring) to be ongoing professional contacts who respect my judgment.

Second, I don’t even know how I would make the referral.

She’s reached out a few times since then trying to establish a friendship, but I’ve told her that I’m not interested.