Advice dating relationship sex
If you have managed to surf the ups and downs of bringing up children, work and making ends meet all within the same relationship, the rewards can be great.You have a wealth of shared memories to laugh over. Rather than fearing getting older, remember that many couples in a long relationship find these to be their happiest years together. She has been the agony aunt for 'Cosmopolitan’ magazine since 1970 Forget trouble for a little while and laugh together.It’s natural that attention shifts to the children, but it’s a good idea to remember why you are together, and have a child together, in the first place.It’s possible to make it work by setting aside a time in the week and asking a relative to mind the children. Invest in the relationship with your partner’s family. Keep yours smooth by remembering birthdays and anniversaries, by butting out of family disputes, and by never forcing your partner into the position of taking sides with you against their mother, father or siblings – those relationships go back a long way.This means that instead of navel-gazing and pondering, you’re coming at the difficult things in life with humour and a lightness of touch.A couple that can laugh together, even mid-row, is in a healthy place. Developing a relationship with yourself, deepened by solitary pursuits, hobbies and taking time out from work and relationships, will pay huge dividends with your partner.David Waters is a couples counsellor and faculty member of The School of Life, where he teaches classes including 'How to Communicate Better in Love’ Be able to reveal vulnerability, even if it feels daunting.When we start a relationship we like to feel in control, powerful even – to protect ourselves from the vulnerability that comes with opening up to a lover.
An ally in the family can also fill in aspects of the past that may help you to understand your partner. If you’re tempted to check your partner’s inbox or online history, stop, talk to yourself (whatever the psychologists say, it’s good for you).
It is possible to maintain a happy sex-life for decades with the same person.
It may not be as often, or the sort of sex that you think you should be having, or think others must be having (but aren’t) – just relax and enjoy this special kind of intimacy together.
Appreciate what life still has to offer while you can.
The great wonder of middle age is that we know our time is now limited.
Ask, “Wait a minute, am I doing this because I think my partner is up to no good?